Ungodly Anger – an article by Pastor Terry Coomer

Tuesday evening, I received the following article via email. That evening and throughout the next day, I was not able to get it off of my mind. Then, Wednesday evening our Pastor preached a message on “Understanding Anger”.  I do not think it was a coincidence. If you struggle with anger, please read this article with a receptive heart. If you know of someone that would benefit from this, please prayerfully consider sharing it with them. The article was written by Pastor Terry Coomer and is lengthy but very thorough on what the Bible says about anger.

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These messages may be copied in their entirety to help Christians in the rearing of their children for God, strengthening their family, and their marriage. They are not to be changed in any manner or to be sold.  This header must be on any copy.  If you have any questions, please feel free to contact the author.

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 If you are dealing with ungodly anger in your life, or the spirit of anger, I invite you to look at the Bible passages below.  Many Christians are operating in their life daily under the impression they are in fellowship with God and in reality they are running their life in sinful anger out of fellowship with God, I John 1:7.  Ungodly anger is deceptive and many Christians are deceived by it, Galatians 6:7-8.  By doing this we open up our life to the devil and his destruction, I Peter 5:8.  This destruction takes place in our lives, in the lives of our family, and of our children.  The essence of the Christian life is to be controlled by the Spirit of God, (submitted each day and each moment at the point of impact to the Spirit of God), Ephesians 5:18.  We are not controlled by the Spirit of God if we live our life daily in ungodly anger.  Satan is very deceptive and ungodly anger is designed by Satan to destroy your family and your life.  Notice below that ungodly anger comes from pride and of course Satan is the author of that pride.  Please see at the end of the article how to deal with ungodly anger. 

 ***Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31-32.

 ***But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; and have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him. Colossians 3:8-10.

 ***To those who believe they should discipline their children in ungodly anger,  “He that soweth iniquity shall reap vanity:  and the rod of his anger shall fail”. Proverbs 22:8.

 ***Where does ungodly anger come from?  Pride.  “Proud and haughty scorner is his name, who dealeth in proud wrath”.  Proverbs 21:24.

 ***Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.  Proverbs 13:10.

 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness on God. James 1:19-20.

 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. Ecclesiastes 7:9.

 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. Psalms 37:8.

 For wrath killeth the foolish man, and envy slayeth the silly one. Job 5:2

He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. Proverbs 16:32.

 An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression. Proverbs 29:22.

 But I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother without cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Ra-ca (empty headed one), shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the alter, and there rememberest that thy brother hath aught (anything) against thee; leave there thy gift before the alter, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. Matthew 5:22-24.

 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:19-21.

 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Proverbs 15:1.

 A fool’s wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame. Proverbs 12:16.

 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife. Proverbs 15:18.

 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. Proverbs 19:11.

 A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver him, yet thou must do it again. Proverbs 19:19.

 A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident. He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated. Proverbs 14:16-17.

 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. Proverbs 21:19.

 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul. Proverbs 22:24-25.

 Scornful men bring a city into a snare: but wise men turn away wrath. Proverbs 29:8.

 The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy. Psalms 145:8.

 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Colossians 3:21.

 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath. Ephesians 4:26.

 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly. Proverbs 14:29,

 A violent man enticeth his neighbour, and leadeth him into the way that is not good. Proverbs 16:29.

 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. Proverbs 19:11.

 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in times past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21.

 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: for thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the Lord shall reward thee. Proverbs 25:21-22.

 For we know him that hath said, Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people. Hebrews 10: 30.

 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies,  kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel (complaint) against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. Colossians 3:12-13.

 For we are consumed (destroyed) by thine anger, and by thy wrath are we troubled. Psalms 90:7.

 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4.

 He that hat no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls.  Proverbs 25:28.

 For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not self-willed, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre.  Titus 1:7.

 How Do I Deal With Ungodly Anger?

 1.     Quit justifying your anger.  Anger is the justified sin of Christians.

2.     Accept personal responsibility for your anger.

3.     Remember the anger is inside of you.  Quit fighting the consequences of anger.

4.     Confess anger as pride.

5.     Deal with any guilt of the past.

6.     Forgive others.

7.     Seek to become meek (humility).  Ask God to show you any sin that stands between you and Him.  Repent of that sin and submit yourself to God.  James 4:7, “Submit yourselves therefore to God, Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”  Submit yourself to God each time you are tempted to be angry.  Stop, think, and turn it over to God by saying, “Lord I want to turn this over to you.  I submit myself to you.” 

8.     Think of the blessing when you quit being angry.

 Some Practical Points

 1.  Learn to ignore petty disagreements, Proverbs 19:11.  In God’s eyes, it is glory if you are big enough to overlook an offense.

2.  Refrain from close association with anger prone people. Proverbs 22:24-25

3.  Keep a very close check on your tongue. Proverbs 15:1, Proverbs 21:23

4.  Cultivate honesty in communication; don’t let anger build up, Proverbs 27:4-6.  There is no substitute for total honesty spoken in love, Ephesians 4:15. 

 Folks, the heart is much too delicate to survive the catastrophic situation of the ungodly anger of the parents.

 When we are angry in an ungodly fashion, we give place to the devil, Ephesians 4:27.  Then the devil reproduces his character through you.  Jesus wants to reproduce His character through us.  When we are under control of the Holy Spirit, then the character of Jesus flows freely through us, His love, His gentleness, His compassion, His joy, and His concern for others.

 Ephesians 4:31, “Let  ALL …wrath, and anger… be put away from you.” 

 Ephesians 4:32, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you”.

 Understanding what ungodly anger is and does is extremely important in getting and keeping your child’s heart.  It is also a key in not allowing your child’s heart to be stolen.

 If you have been angry with your wife, children, husband, you need to go confess and apologize for your ungodly anger.  The first step in dealing with it is to humble yourself.  James 4:10, “Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.”  In dealing with your wife, husband or children, remember a spirit controlled people in Ephesians 5:21 the Bible tells us are, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God”.  Ungodly anger has no place in it.

– Dr. Terry Coomer

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Dr. Terry L. Coomer is the Pastor of Hope Baptist Church, the Director of For the Love of the Family Ministries, and Hope Biblical Counseling Center. He has also served as the Publisher of the nation’s fastest growing daily newspaper. Pastor Coomer holds Family Conferences in the local church. To have a meeting at your church or other needs he may be contacted at (501)983-4403, tlcoomer@juno.com. There are many helpful articles and material on our web site to help you change your life at www.fortheloveofthefamily.com. We serve the God of answers. If you need help finding those answers you may contact us at tlcoomer@juno.com. To be removed from our mailing list send an e-mail to tlcoomer@juno.com.

~ Rachel ~

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